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Thursday, December 21, 2006

This little W10 captures video in a Motion Jpeg format,

...which is starting to show its age.

It’s great that everything works with this format though, cause I have a mate with a new Sony video camera, which uses a format so new, that he has to wait six months before Sony software like Vagus will cut it up.

I keep thinking that I should get hold of a new camera, but then if you look at the quality of the feeds from YouTube and others. Why bother!








Saturday, December 16, 2006

I’ve been practising by compiling short clips ...

...from festivals and protest walks.

It’s interesting finding the limits of the W10.
It’s great cause I can carry it around in my pocket, and I can whip it out quickly.

Laying down titles and credits.











Sunday, December 10, 2006

Entry for December 10, 2006: Crap, I feel like crap.

We had the work Christmas party on Friday.

Some genius decided that it would be a good idea to have everyone stand in a field next to a theme park (packed with children on holidays) for three hours, with the only cover being a tree up one end of the paddock.

A large group of us clustered around in the meagre shade, and we were accurately compared to a herd of cows looking for shelter.

Its winter everywhere else it would seem, so I need to set the scene.

Imagine somewhere really hot (Americans can think of Death Valley, Brits will remember Spain in the summer, and Eastern Europeans can use Chernobyl as a benchmark)

Now set a couple of tables out, and across the glaring white tablecloth, marshal regiments made up of bottles of beer, and plastic cups of cheap white wine.

Next door, line up a crew of minimum wage unfortunates (this is minimum wage in Oz so it's not quite as bad as minimum wage in the U.S.) to stand in the sun dressed up like penguins, to man the row of bain-maries filled with sausages, and sweaty chicken drumsticks.

The whole affair was pretty badly organised. It took me more then two hours to discover that there were bottles of champagne and red wine available behind the bar (at least red wine is tolerable when it is lukewarm.)

A work Christmas party, is made up of a crowd of people desperately trying to socialise, and the main thing we have in common, apart from drinking, eating, and fucking (pardon for the language Gypsy) is that we all work for the same company.

Which is why I was desperately trying to steer conversations away from work, cause invariably it would turn into a bitch fest (and I'm really tired of complaining.)

So being as I work in the more technical part of our biz, the conversation gravitated towards talking about Nintendo's new game console, the Wii.

One controls this new game console, by waving around a plastic wand.

It's very kinetic, involving for all ages, and hilarious to watch others play.

After three hours roasting in the sun (I have a touch of red today,) a group of us jumped on a water taxi and headed across the harbour to a boutique brewer over in the city centre.

Over the six hours, others appeared (word of mouth is an amazing thing) and hidden away in the bowls of a harbour side pub, we all allowed the alcohol and the dark closeness to take us under.

There arn't any photos cause I reckon it's a bit rude to take a camera to work functions where there will be booze (hidden microphones I'm ok with.)

I didn't score a snog but there were lots of emotional people sobbing into drinks, and hugs.

There were bosses declaring that they weren't bad people. I told the six foot plus-square jawed-Italian-sky diver, that emotionally he was a five year old, and that he had never suffered (it turned out to be a good call.)

And there was one girl, who was surround by a group of guys, soulfully consoling her about her break up with a boy in the office, who was now dating the blond that had snogged half the guys at last years Christmas party (a group of guys consoling a drunk girl is code for a group of guys jostling to be the one that takes her home.)

There is something about a work Christmas party, and a release of pressure.

Woke up Saturday morning to find a trail of clothes across the flat leading to the shower.

It was a perfect morning lucky. It's been really hot the last couple of days, but the sea breeze blew through the flat, cooling my forehead.

Drank lots of water, napped a bit (once on the floor,) wondered down to the rock pools to molest the crabs for a bit.

Another break from the Spanish dolphins.

I’m starting to view these as ad breaks :-)

We had the work Christmas party on Friday.
Some genius decided that it would be a good idea to have people stand in a field next to a theme park (packed with children on holidays) for three hours, with the only cover being a tree up one end of the paddock.
A large group of us clustered around in the meagre shade, and we were accurately compared to a herd of cows looking for shelter.

Its winter everywhere else it would seem, so I need to set the scene.
Imagine somewhere really hot (Americans can think of Death Valley, Brits will remember Spain in the summer, and Eastern Europeans can use Chernobyl as a benchmark)
Now set a couple of tables out, and across the glaring white tablecloth, marshal regiments made up of bottles of beer, and plastic cups of cheap white wine.
Next door, line up a crew of minimum wage unfortunates (this is minimum wage in Oz so it’s not quite as bad as minimum wage in the U.S.) to stand in the sun dressed up like penguins, to man the row of bain-maries filled with sausages, and sweaty chicken drumsticks.

The whole affair was pretty badly organised. It took me more then two hours to discover that there were bottles of champagne and red wine available behind the bar (at least red wine is tolerable when it is lukewarm.)


After three hours roasting in the sun (I have a touch of red today,) a group of us jumped on a water taxi and headed across the harbour to a boutique brewer over in the city centre.
Over the six hours, others appeared (word of mouth is an amazing thing) and hidden away in the bowls of a harbour side pub, we all allowed the alcohol and the dark closeness to take us under.


I didn’t score a snog but there were lots of emotional people sobbing into drinks, and hugs.
There were bosses declaring that they weren’t bad people. I told the six foot plus-square jawed-Italian-sky diver, that emotionally he was a five year old, and that he had never suffered (it turned out to be a good call.)
And there was one girl, who was surround by a group of guys, soulfully consoling her about her break up with a boy in the office, who was now dating the blond that had snogged half the guys at last years Christmas party (a group of guys consoling a drunk girl is code for ‘a group of guys jostling to be the one that takes her home.’)
There is something about a work Christmas party, and a release of pressure.

Woke up Saturday morning to find a trail of clothes across the flat leading to the shower.
It was a perfect morning lucky. It’s been really hot the last couple of days, but the sea breeze blew through the flat, cooling my forehead.
Drank lots of water, napped a bit (once on the floor,) wondered down to the rock pools to molest the crabs for a bit.



Saturday, December 2, 2006

Entry for December 02, 2006: fashion victims.

I hear from the Italian guy at work (he wears Prada sunglasses and uses moisturiser) that 'Hipster' jeans have moved out of fashion.
That's a shame cause I quite like a bit of feminine crack (see: National cleavage day.)
We got onto this subject cause we were discussing the latest trend in huge sunglasses that allot of people are hiding behind these days. We were in the city for the Nokia thang (reminder please) and a lot of people were sporting these visors.
I ventured the opinion, that I had thought that society had grown out of the stupid fashion trends that plagued us in the seventies and eighties.
Especially after the nineties, when everyone seemed to have assumed a tasteful dignity.
Then these shades appear which are so big, that designers have room to splash a huge logo down the arms.
I reckon these are going to go out of fashion within a week.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Entry for November 15, 2006: Weird things are afoot in our capital city.

Our prime minister, who is so ‘right wing’ he spins on the spot, last week refused to support alternative energies, and actually mooted the possibility of subsidising nucks. I thought these conservative jokers were into 'small government!'

Any who, remember my entry with the video of the Walk Against Warming?

There was the comment about whether people who guide our society would take any notice.



This week, the federal government has announced that it is contributing to the out-fitting of houses out in the western suburbs with solar power.

What the hell happened to the world last week? Republicans get kicked in the nads and suddenly Australia is seeing merit in carbon trading?!?!



Another interesting point has floated past my ears recently. It would seem that Rupert Murdock has embraced the concept of Global Warming. Since he seems to be running the government of Oz, maybe he is responsible for the change of heart?

Monday, November 13, 2006

QotD: ROFL

What comedian makes you pee your pants laughing?
Submitted by pookieb.


Well, there is one that has been cracking me up for the last couple of years. But this isn't the space for that.
I'm a big fan of Bill Hicks. Like Jeff Buckley and Kurt Cobain, he died before he had a chance to grow old and disappoint.



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Walk against Warming, the video


A few entries back, I posted some pictures of a protest walk I attended on Globle Warming...

This is a montage video of the event.

Walk Against Warming





Tuesday, November 7, 2006

QotD: My Dream Career

What's your dream career? 
Submitted by Something.

I’ve had a couple of dream careers in my life.

Once I got to where I was going, I realised it was the trip
that was stimulating.

My current journey will end when I’m forty five and I have a
video production house.

 

:-)



Sunday, November 5, 2006

Saturday, I attended the ‘Walk against Warming’ protest...

...against government inaction on ‘global warming.’

Which was kind of funny cause it was cold and wet.


Well, it was when I got down there but it soon warmed up.


There were people giving speeches which were boring, and bands playing which was cool.


A lot of people drifted off and I reckon they were less into the ‘entertainment’ and more up for ‘sending a message to our fearless leader.’


All these photos have been GeoTagged. I suggest the satellite view.






Sunday, October 29, 2006

Happy Daylight Savings!

The sun has been waking me up for weeks, and it will be nice to enjoy the light at a more useful time of the day.
Instead of lying in bed, and 'wondering why the heck I am awake?'€™ I can get home after work and walk down to the beach, or enjoy a sunset jog in the park.


I reckon that this is the best season of the year. It's much better then 'need to get my Tax Return in Season'.€™ (which you either love or hate,) or '€˜travel agent High Season'€™ (where all transport and accommodation is a lot more expensive.) I'm not going to go into how much 'Flu Season'€™ sucks.



So I'd like to wish everyone a very merry Daylight Savings. Image

Friday, October 13, 2006

October 12, 2006: You know its summer when…

ImageThe weather has started to warm up enough for people to think about beaches and BBQ and snogging under a tree in the park. But it’s spoiled by the arrival of thousands of flies. Suddenly they’re everywhere!


ImageThe Italian guy at work has the outline of his sun glasses burned into the skin of his face (he fell asleep on Bondi beach.)



ImagePeople start walking down the shady side of the street.



ImageI get home after work and the sun is still in the sky.



ImageAir conditioning advertisements move to high rotation.



ImageThe weather outlook for the next couple of days is HEAT WAVE. Surf life saving organisations expect the beaches to be ‘standing room only’ and issue a warning for People to swim between the flags. Large chunks of bushland are forecast to be charcoal by Monday.



Image



I'd like to thank Sean for his good advice on inserting photos.

Sunday, October 8, 2006

October 08, 2006: Why is sushi so expensive?

Hi folks,
I’m back to tell the tale.



There was very little food in the house when I got back, and I haven’t had the time to shop, so I’ve been eating out all week.

Started with fish and chips, then a burger on Wednesday before a film at the gallery, a pizza the following day, and sushi on Friday night.

I visited the local sushi train and spent twenty bucks!

Twenty bucks and I wasn’t stuffed.

Is sushi some sort of fashion thang?



Lift is working today. It’s been silent in the shaft for more then four weeks now.

Suddenly grinding sounds can be heard through the doors.



All my plants have died.

Wasn’t able to convince anyone to water my plants while I was away (just as well cause the lift being out of action would have stretched the friendship,) and the plants suffered in the heat. Only the Aloe and the Australian lime hybrid survived.



I can still feel the motion of the sea at night.

Very weird.

Monday, October 2, 2006

October 02, 2006: Back in the arms of normality

ImagePublic holiday today, which I didn’t realise until late last night.
ImageLucky for me cause I thought I was going to be at work today, and my grip on reality is still a bit tentative from the flight.

ImageManaged to stay awake all yesterday (in an attempt to force sleep patterns back into local time,) apart from falling asleep on the toilet for ten minutes.



ImageFunny you should mention Indian food, adrii.

ImageOur big night out in London was a bus trip to Brick lane, from Camden markets (which get more commercial and less interesting each time I visit,) then drinks in back street bar.

ImageThe most memorable thing about dinner was that it was quite expensive.

ImageIf you’ve never been to Brick lane, it is best described, as being memorable for the shear density of Indian restaurants in one spot.



I’ve posted some photos from the trip.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

September 07, 2006: The lift is still silent.

It’s been immobile since the weekend.
I’m already feeling that tight ‘just had a work out’ feeling in the tops of my thighs.

People are complaining about having to drag the weekly shopping, including slabs of beer up to their apartments.

One woman was tempted to lock her three year old in the car for a week so that she wouldn’t have to carry him.

There was a note taped above the button informing us, that they hope to have it fixed by Saturday, which is when I fly out.

Typical.

On the way down the stairs today I noticed to service techs struggling to manhandle a replacement electric motor up narrow fire escape stair well.

Poor buggers.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

September 06, 2006: Funniest thing that happened to me today…

I’m home sick with a cold!

Bloody hilarious!

I’ve had a cough that has been hanging around for a couple of weeks, and I’ve been waiting it out. Last night I was getting pretty pissed off with the wheezing so I decided to ignore my body’s impulses, and just put up with a clenched irritation across the top of my chest.

I woke up today, looked out at the sunny morning spreading across the bay, and had a decent coughing fit.

Bugger.

This was when I decided action was needed, as I fly out on the weekend. I thought that at least knowing what was going on in my lungs would be a good idea.

I told the doctor that I felt fine, apart from a persistent cough (which would be completely normal if I was a smoker.)

He told me that he would decide how well I was!

I’m paraphrasing, but that was the intent.

This is why guys hate going to the Doc. We are never taken seriously unless a limb is pointing in an unnatural direction, or if we’re over forty and the doctor feels the need to poke a finger up our bum.

There are very few things in this world that a guy enjoys travelling the wrong direction up his posterior.


Any who, the Doc takes a tongue depressor (I know! I was surprised that they are still around too,) takes a gander down my gullet, and exclaims ‘oh my god!’

Once again, I’m interpreting the events from my memory, but the reaction was pretty accurate.

He offers me a sick note (I’ve never scored one before, and I’m not going to look a gift horse bearing ‘two official days off work’ in the mouth) which I took, and a prescription for antibiotics.

The crazy thing is, I feel fine! The cold seems to be lurking around deep inside, and occasionally erupts with a spell of hacking.

I go back to work on Friday (which is pub lunch day so the afternoon is mostly a write off.)

Sunday, September 3, 2006

September 03, 2006: My gardening nemesis is Basil…

…which is a shame cause I suck down a lot of spag bol. Pretty fond of pesto too.



Aloe Vera on the other hand thrives around me. There are pots of it all over the flat, despite a regular campaign of giving plants away to friends and family.

The original ‘mama’ plant is starting to look like something out of ‘Little Shop O Horrors.’

I’m contemplating getting drunk and cooking over an open flame, so that I can collect a series of burns that need salving. ;-)

A mate reckons I should go into business cause he saw Aloe being peddled for fifteen bucks a plant at the markets.



I was watching the sunset out in the warm spring air last night and I noticed that the lavender bushes and the single lemon tree had suddenly sent out flower buds.

Must be time to start thinking about tomatoes.

Friday, September 1, 2006

September 01, 2006: Ending peace week on a positive note.


Despite sometimes feeling like there a lot of the Christians and Conservative’s, trying to drag us all back to sixteenth century Europe. And that some Muslims want to wind back the clock to the eleventh century. And a goodly chunk of the Jews would like to see the world return to sometime BC.

I honestly feel that humans are slowly improving things for everyone.

We are taking our universe apart to find out how it works. Reading DNA and conquering disease. We have better ways to communicate, and there is greater access to information.

Wealth used to be concentrated with Royalty and the church. Then it spread out to merchants and bankers, then farmers, and finally a degree of comfort (in western countries) is attainable by people all the way down to unskilled workers and such like.

Wealth is concentrated along country boundaries currently, but I feel that it will, and is spreading to places like India, and China, and Vietnam.

When I read about what it used to be like for ‘unskilled’ people, even just a couple of centuries ago in Europe, it’s got to be better these days.

The next step is to get everyone on the planet to at least a basic level of comfort.

If you look at how apathetic the grass roots are in most western countries, what with their basic food, shelter, and entertainment needs met. One would think that if everyone in the world had access to these things, suddenly most conflicts would disappear, cause no one could be bothered attacking anyone else?

I also feel that these amazing networks of communication that are being built (blogs being one) will bring us all closer to understanding, that we are all very similar.
Have a good weekend everyone

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

August 30, 2006: Conscription

I was of a conscription age, when the first Gulf war was declared. The news of the '€˜action'€™ broke while I was on holiday up the coast with some mates from High School.

The first thing that leaped into our twenty something male minds, was that there might be the possibility of a general 'call-up'.€™ Just like for Vietnam.

We might be rounded up and sent off to die.

All those young men, full of aggressive energy, who were not very worldly. Who think that going to war is like attending a sporting fixture.

Not quiet like in the Second World War, where we would be off to defend our home lands.

We would be the aggressors, invading someone else'€™s home, to secure oil supplies.

My dad narrowly avoid being sent off to Korea, cause his back was covered in teenage acne.

When G.W. jnr€™ embarked upon this current adventure, I realised I was probably too old to be pressed into the armed forces now, which was a cheery thought.

Unfortunately, I now get to worry about what might happen in my nephew'€™s futures.

I think it'€™s interesting that in the News, there was a story about the Marines having an Involuntary Call-Up.

One wonders if this is the thin edge of the wedge?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Fear is a beautiful thing.

When I was a kid, the threat of the northern hemisphere ‘nuking it out’ was ever present.

I was never really worried about my home copping a direct hit, cause despite the huge over capacity of warheads safely tucked away in their launch tubes, who the hell is going to waste a couple of million bucks (or roubles) sending an ICBM our way?

Nope, what scared me, was having to live the rest of my life on the cinder, which would be all that was left of the planet. I kind of wished that we were a little more important, or at least a bit more threatening, so that we rated the instantaneous oblivion of ‘ground zero.’

There was this weird vacuum that appeared in the group unconsciousness when the USSR split. It was as though this threat, which had been hanging over my head whole short life up to that point, had evaporated.

Thankfully the threat of terrorism has nicely filled that vacuum.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I don'€™t '€˜get' Stadium gigs.

An Aerosmith gig was the last stadium event I've attended, and that was a long time ago.

Even then they aging (errrr preserved) well. They seem to be turning into the American version of the Stones.



We had bad tickets that night, and our seats were way up the back of a decent sized indoor entertainment arena.

I saw the whole performance on a video screen suspended from the roof, cause the band on the stage looked like an animated postage stamp.

'€˜I could watch this at home'€™ I thought. From then on I swore to only go see bands in venues where the floor had sticky carpet, you could reach up and touch the pipes running across the roof, and I don't have to wait for half an hour to get out into the fresh air when the gig is done.



Unfortunately that means I missed the only time the Cure toured Oz.

They have only toured Australia once (as far as I know.) The lead singer is afraid to fly. To get to the country, I hear he was drugged to the eyeballs, and carried onto the plane.



The Cure had sort of sold out€™ by that stage. They avoided the more intimate venues, and were booked into the same arena that I had vaguely seen Areosmith in.

So I missed them.



Thursday, August 17, 2006

August 17, 2006: Specking of rumours

You may recall I mentioned the attention one woman at work was receiving.

I'€™m wondering if that comes under '€˜Corporate'€™ or 'Personal' rumor mongering?

I’m not really into to '€˜Personal'€™ type gossip, but the 'Corporate'€™ stuff is potentially useful.

'€˜Family'€™ goss I could happily not hear about.

Only the British, Italian, and on occasion the Americans, have interesting '€˜Political'€™ trash talk.

Corporate gossip at our place is encouraged by the '€˜Turf wars'€™ that every department seems to be involved in.

€'Hardware'€™ and '€˜Software'€™ have been fractured into subgroups, all of which are constantly maneuvering to make sure their project isn'€™t canned, and that they get invited to the important meetings.

Both these groups have friction going on with €˜Art,€™ and everyone is trying to stick-it to Sales and Marketing.

At one point before I started here, even Human Resources were involved in a turf war, which is a bit crazy cause they are supposed to be an arbiter between people. HR had to be gutted to clean it up.

A Current story doing the rounds, that has piqued my interest, is that a manager is going to get canned soon. I've heard this from two sources. One is a lieutenant who is hoping to move up the ladder a step when the manager's position becomes vacant.

The other confidant is a disgruntled ex-employee who reckons he's got inside knowledge. A bottle of good scotch depends on the result, as I reckon that the manager isn'€™t going anywhere.

It'€™s a bit weird to hear that even in this virtual space, there seems to be gossiping going on.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

August 15, 2006: I'€™ve been spreading rumors

About my bosses deciding to move our organisation out into the middle of nowhere.

I'€™ve been spreading this rumor cause I don'€™t want to move, and I'€™m hoping to spark an employee revolt.



The weird thing I've discovered about rumors is the more I highlight how unreliable my sources are, the more people are inclined to spread the rumor More people talking about the rumor, makes it seem more concrete.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

July 27, 2006: A young mans fancy turns to sheds

I'm having problems finding a suitable work environment for my creative writing pursuits.
I need the company of my flatmate, but I also need privacy for my writing.
It's cold now, so the balcony isn't welcoming.

The wiring to my bedroom lights has gone, and writing in the dark brings an un-looked for Gothic quality to my work.

The bathrooms vibe is too hard, and my butt gets cold on the toilet.

The kitchen is the center of food and hot drink preparation, so there are always interruptions.

The laundry though warm and private, is the size of an old fashion phone booth, and it could use a few windows to soften its cell like qualities.

Maybe I could build a shed and attach it to the side of my apartment building?

I could make it out of tin so that it drums pleasantly in the rain.

I wonder how the body-corp would feel about a shed, hanging off a tenth floor balcony?

The body-corp seems to be made up of old men who lack imagination. Especially when it comes to architecture.

Somebody suggested writing at work, as I don't seem to do any actual work for the corporation, while I'm at the office. It's a fine idea, but just walking through those doors sucks all the drive out of me and consumes what little creative energy I might have.

Besides, I might write something pornographic, and some systems engineer would find it on the server, and post it on the web, and turn it into email packing with a distribution that would rival a tom Clancy novel.

Before too long, friends would unknowingly be emailing it back to me cause they received it from a mate in Wales, or wherever.

My damp prose would work it way into bathrooms and under doonas all over the planet.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

July 13, 2006: I'm a bit late for national cleavage day

I'm reminded of a story a mate of mine told me a while back.

ImageShe wears a suit to work, and the trend these days is for pants to hang from the hips.

ImageThe hazard in this is that when she sits down, a decent wedge of cleavage is exposed.


ImageOne time she was at a corporate lunch and she nabbed a colleague, who was leaning back in his chair, and targeting her gap with peanuts.



ImageShe got home that night and found that he had been a lot more successful then she had realised, when she pulled off her slacks and a shower of nuts bounced across the floor.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

July 12, 2006: Pedestrian pondering


ImageSometimes I catch a bus to work. The bus stop is on a road, outside a hospital, on a hill.

ImageI was standing at the stop, waiting, looking at things, checking messages on the phone, and looking at other things, when I heard a car blasting away with its horn.

ImageI looked to see what was causing this driver so much grief, that he had to communicate his feelings with a prolonged horn serenade.

ImageSomeone was stuck in the middle of the lane. It was a guy in a stalled electric wheelchair.

ImageI stood there stunned for a sec. I couldn't believe that this driver was happy to sit in their car and vent, whilst someone in a wheelchair wiggled around, flicked a finger at the car, and desperately tried to coax movement out of his chair!

ImageI jogged across and pushed the guy up to his destination. The hospital entrance!



ImageWhen I told people this story to people at work, someone remarked that ‘if one is going to the hospital the next day, one might make sure ones chair is fully charged.’

ImageWhile I agree with the sentiment, I reckon a little slack could have been cut.



ImageThe guy was in a wheelchair for Pete's sake!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Entry for July 11, 2006: Storiette

Pedestrian Pondering

Pedestrian crossings are where I get to wield a bit of power over a couple of tons of processed metal and glass.

Maybe a car brakes a little too late, and encroaches onto the white zebra stripes?

Peering through their windscreen the driver might see me mouth 'I might go to hospital, but you'd be going to jail!'€™ as I walk past the nose of the vehicle daring them to nudge me.

I could hold back rush-hour tides if I so wished.

If I lingered long enough, I could be the subject of a newscast traffic warning.

Sometimes as I past across the middle of the lane, I'm tempted to bend over and fuss with a shoelace, just to rub it in.

As soon as I've set foot on the opposite curb, the river closes behind me and rushes on by.



But if there is no crossing, then I am the intruder.

Crossing a shark infested esotery. Jiving across the road, sprinting and halting, stripped of the traffic codes life vest.

Monday, July 10, 2006

July 10, 2006: The commodity of beauty cont.

In some situations, beauty could be a source of problems, possibly even a hazard!

For instance, around the operation of heavy machinery.

Beauty is like art, or advertising. It captures attention.

This can be a real problem in most work places.

Workers fixing road surfaces shouldn'€™t be beautiful. Other wise the traffic moving past the road works will grind to a halt.

We have a lovely girl as our receptionist where I work. She regularly has guys buzzing around her desk, just chatting about this and that, and not doing their jobs.

In a moment of weakness I signed up an agent to manage my property primarily on the bases of the two girls dressed in short skirts, who arrived at my doorstep to assess the property.

That said, their smooth shapely legs didn’t' stop them from doing a good job. The problem was me.

For the entire time that the agent was administering the property, whenever a problem arose, I placed the blame on my initial distraction. €˜This would never have happened if I had of retained the short humpback with a lisp.

This is an excerpt from a friends email. She is relating problems with finding a new share place to live, by making a comparison with meeting a new co-worker.


'No, he is just too good looking. I couldn'€™t feel comfy living with that'.

I got her point about 5 years later when my new carer/co-worker/flatmate turned up for the first dinner/meeting at the house. Shit I had to get over my crush quickly so I could work with him effectively.


Which segues us to discussing beautiful people in the home.

History has taught us that beautiful maids, babysitters, pool cleaners, and gardeners are not conducive to happy households.

Sunday, July 9, 2006

July 09, 2006: The commodity of beauty

I have an observation to offer up. Human beauty is becoming so commercialized  that one day you will be able to hire €˜good Looking types€™ for all sorts of things.

Currently City Councils install potted flowers and erect statues in public places, but soon it will be cheaper to dress up the city center by hiring hundreds of wannabe€™ models to stand on corners posing away.

Your golf caddy will be enlisted from the local gym and they will tote around your bag, and hoist aloft an umbrella to protect the player from the elements. The jocks get paid, a good work out, and the chance to catch some rays. Possibly a dip in the water trap to retrieve balls could be an additional service.

Every train carriage will have stationed within it, a beautiful boy and a gorgeous girl whose jobs are to cruise up and down the line during weekday mornings making eye contact with the passengers, to give the workaday population that ‘a beautiful person Wants me glow€™ before they start the day.

One day there will be comments made in restaurants such as "€˜I'd like to complain about my waiter. They'€™re not good looking enough! Send me another".

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

July 04, 2006: Continuing to improve sports

On the subject of improving modern sports.

I heard a brilliant idea the other day in the pub.

In football, have the penalty shoot-out at the beginning of the match.

In that way, there will always be a potential result to chase.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Entry for June 15, 2006: Ducks.

I like ducks. Have done for a while now. Less the farm type duck. More the undomesticated, honed in the wilderness sort of duck (park ducks sort of count.)

Kookaburras are cool, when you realise that they are a really big kingfisher. They like to roost in the evenings, squashed up together in a group, strung out along a brunch like a large furry caterpillar.

Rosellas have plumage so bright that when you see one in direct sunlight, you doubt the reliability of your eyesight. They hang out in pairs, like a farming couple. Tough as nails, but sweet with each other.

Willy Wag Tails are the size of a thumb. So small, that it’s hard to believe that internal organs can be so tiny, and yet function.

Cockatoos are impressive when they raise the sulphur coloured crest. But they are so irritating, with a screeching call and the penchant for eating houses, that you will find yourself wondering where you can track down a shotgun.

It’s harder to explain the attraction of the duck. Bright little eyes, the quack is endearing, and the bills are rounded and efficient.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Entry for June 14, 2006: Gosh it’s cold all of a sudden!

Getting up in the Mornings is the worst. My joints feel like their made out of rusty iron.

Threw an extra blanket on the bed last night and that helps a bit.

Looking at the cup, half full. There'€™s an enhanced dynamic about a big city, with the Cold winter wind gusting between the buildings.

The smog has been blown somewhere else (probably causing asthma in the Antarctic,) and there's a greater bustle as people bolt between warm overcrowded bus, to office building, to enclosed mall, to shop or bank.

You know, I get the impression that some people like the spiky sensation of winter on their skin. I have friends that wear T-shirts, whatever the season or weather.

I read a news story about a group of people who dive into the harbour in Melbourne in the middle of winter and swim a few frantic laps. Racing the hypodermic Cold Creeping towards their core. Hauling themselves out of the water, movements stiff and skin rubbery, quickly drying off, and gripping hot drinks.

For these people the cold is less of a hassle, more a savouring of the sensation.

I'€™ve bought a multicoloured '€˜draft excluders'€™ (other wise referred to as '€˜door sausages')

And where the heck, did I hide my gloves? I would have thought the sock drawer (cause they are woollen and are slipped over the end of a limb?)

Monday, June 12, 2006

Entry for June 12, 2006: Queens Birthday weekend!

Woke up this morning and my bedroom window glowed a flat watery blue. All the monochromatic clouds that had been streaming across the sky for the past week had been swept away. Colour and sharp focus had returned to the green leafy trees, and red tiled roofs that my window looks down on.



Today is a public holiday, and we love our holidays here. Americans and Japanese seem to be constantly surprised that this country has managed to avoid ‘third world status,’ due to the numerous ways we have to avoid work here.

I heard somewhere that the Japanese only get one big holiday, and it tends to be a honeymoon. They take hundreds of pictures cause these holiday snaps will have to last them the rest of their lives.

The British enjoy a large number of public holidays too. They have shown a surprising lack of imagination in labelling them all ‘Bank holidays’



We like to name ours, like we do our pets.



There is ‘Australia day,’ which has been renamed ‘Invasion day’ by the indigenous population. This was the day that Cook first set foot in Oz.

‘Queens Birthday,’ causes raised eyebrows in the Brits cause they don’t celebrate the birthday of their monarch. There is an underground opinion here that a recent referendum on becoming a republic failed, as the population thought there might be the possibility of our losing a public holiday.

There’s ‘Anzac day,’ where we celebrate a great wartime defeat. Interestingly, we have been following other nations into war ever since.

And there is ‘Labour day,’ cause we used to have a Labour movement, and people used to care that they were getting screwed.



It’s been raining for almost a week now, so I walked down to the local park to check out the levels in the lakes down there.

Been very dry this summer and these man dug bodies of water were getting so low, that the ducks were queuing to have a swim.

All is well down there now. The fish aren’t wondering where the hell they are going to move to when the puddle dries out completely. A turf war between the eels and the tortoises has been narrowly avoided. And the Pelicans have stopped fighting over who will get to eat the last fish.



Saturday, June 10, 2006

Entry for June 10, 2006: Quotes


-Some times I think about simple pleasures that go straight to the blood meat. The red stuff that's wrapped around the bone.

These are different to the things that stimulate the grey thinking meat, which enjoys Complex things like computer games, philosophy, and love affairs.



-I've just been driving around Scotland with a girl who can drive, light cigarettes, change a goodly proportion of her clothes, read a map with both hands, and eat a MacDonald's breakfast, while coolly passing a parked police car.



-Been doing allot of bacon cause nobodies mentioned 'mad pig' disease yet. Or mad chicken, or mad fish.



-I think that there is more to this primal scream thang. I reckon there are primal groans, primal grunts, and primal sighs, as well as the primal whinge, which cuts through you like a suddenly liberated length of super tensioned wire releasing, its energy as it passes through a lump of brain tissue.

Friday, June 9, 2006

Entry for June 09, 2006: Raining again this morning!


I could tell without opening my eyes, cause the tyres on the cars driving up and down the road outside my bedroom window were making a sticky sound where tyres contacted wet asphalt.

Didn’t think much of the scope of the lists on 360, so I drew up my own….

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Entry for June 07, 2006: Water, water everywhere, / Nor any drop to drink


Rain eased off a bit today. Shame really, I like the sound of rain falling on things like the car roof, on windows, and bouncing off an umbrella.
There was so much water falling out of the sky last night when I drove home, that the car was cutting quite a decent bow wave.
Went to the movies and despite it being ‘cheap Tuesday,’ the cinema was almost empty.
Xmen 3
It was ok. I don’t think I would recommend it.
Interesting that they killed off half the previous cast.
I wonder if that was to build tension?
You can tell that each movie had a bigger special effects budget then the last.
There was a trailer for Superman Returns and that looks to be ‘properly crap!’
One tries not to think about all the thousands of litres that get funnelled straight out into the sea by the storm water drains.

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Entry for June 06, 2006: Second day of rain

And the roads were a lot less hectic this morning.
Sydney people seem to be getting used to all this wet stuff that is falling out of the sky. There was much less queuing across intersections, people’s horns must have worn out yesterday, and the dangers of lightning quick lane changes must have finally sunk in.
Maybe all the people running around on bald tyres slid into the scenery, or each other , yesterday?

Monday, June 5, 2006

Entry for June 05, 2006: It rain all day today.

Again the catchment area was missed.

It’s kind of weird checking out the rainfall map on the internet each day and watching coloured blobs which indicate showers of rain, fall most places, except the Sydney reservoir catchments area.

It’s as though god has decided to elevate the city to the same status as Sodom, Gomorra, or Pompeii, with a supernatural effort to wipe us off the map!

Typical, for decades the councils banned personal rain water tanks. (Something to do with not being able to charge for the water falling onto private properties?)

Now Sydney’s population is growing like crazy, and the level in the reservoir dam is dipping below half full.

Soon they will have to curtail bathing. The new city slogan could be ‘welcome to Sydney, the city of stylish b.o.’

Those choppers that they use to dump giant buckets of water on bush fires could be used to douse the city in Chanel No5.